I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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