I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
