I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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