i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm like, not good at living.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
