just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
