You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
