i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
