C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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