I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
