If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sorry about my life...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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