How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
