glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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