Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
even my farts smell like vagina
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
