ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
