I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
