You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
