Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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