I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
