Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
