hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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