dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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