In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
