I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
