my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
