All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
