I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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