I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
