My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
