Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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