Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
