Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
