i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
