we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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