Pregnant stripper...not hot.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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