So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
