I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize