She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
