I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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