I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
