you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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