Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
