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This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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