Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
