Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
