i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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