I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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