The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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