mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
