the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
