bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
