My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
