So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
