I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
you had me at cake vodka
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
