Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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