Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
