you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
