census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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