Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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