So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
