where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
