is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
