so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
