My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
