my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
