I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I want a musical about memes.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
