Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
