dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
