So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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