Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
