i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just pee around me
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
