Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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