I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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