kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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