Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
