Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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