i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you told grandpa to call you daddy
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize